Qualifications for fabricating a bike

Between the two of us we have 5 engineering degrees.

• 2 B.S is mechanical engineering,
• 1 B.S degree in Nuclear Engineering,
• 1 MS is mechanical engineering where Ian studied the fractures of molybimum and (a different way to say this would be studied fracture mechanics in molybdenum)
• 1 MS in nuclear engineering where I studied how operators fail in nuclear power plants.

We don't expect these to help much expect for maybe understanding operator failures.

Building a bike should be simple, except it took Ian and I three trips the hardware store and 1 week to hang ceiling fan. Also the bike does not require uranium, plutonium or any fissionable material, blowing things up, and with any luck no fracture mechanics.

This all seemed like a reasonable idea one night while I was at some far way nuclear power plant listening to Ian tell me about his brilliant idea to make metal furniture. To not zone out of the conversations I suggested that Ian build me a bike. It is made of out of metal and requires welding right?! so I thought.

My exact question to him was "Do you think you could cut my bike down so that I can reach the handle bars on my bike?"
His response was " Well you can't cut down the bike but building a new frame would be a quite a project"

(Actually, you said can't we just cut an inch or two out of the frame to make it shorter to which I responded "No")

And the rest is history....
Before I even returned to Seattle, Ian was researching online all about bike fabrication and where he could buy steal or aluminum tubes.
A few weeks after we had starting brainstorming on how to build a bike, I ran a Triathlon. It started at 6:00am and Ian offered to come cheer me on and transport my bike to start line.
At the car, I watched Ian attach my front tire to the bike and use the strength of two men to tighten. It was 6:00 am and I thought that everyone was crazy riding their bikes to the start line. So Ian and I walked my bike to the start line while my training companions road to the start line.
The triathlon was going well until about 5 minutes into the bike portion, my tire started making a horrible noise. I slowed down, (since I can't reach my breaks to stop) and then my tire fell off my bike. The front tire just had come loose, I guess that it why everyone rides their bikes to start line.
In in the end, I re-attached my tire and it only cost me a couple minutes. How can some one who can't attach a tire to a bike build a bike I questioned Ian.
His response back was... How can someone train for a triathlon when their bikes has 2 flat tires for a month prior to the triathlon...